Philosphical Awakening

I believe this year is a year of many discoveries for me. This is very important to me, so I shall try to be as succinct and organized with my thoughts as I can. This book, Sophie's World by Jostein Gaarder has completely overhauled my life. When I started reading it, I just expected a lovely, magical children's book. But going several chapters into it, it has turned into much more.

This book has opened a whole new world to me that in the most wonderous sense, lit a light bulb in my mind and spirit. From an early age, I remembered distinctly being dissatisfied with life and everything in it, and everything seemed empty, hollow, insignificant. And I begin to ask questions of why, how, what.. Was I going mad. And I truly believe I was going mad. I question everything, was critical over everything. And I seriously asked myself why, why am I like this, why can I not accept. And all this questioning and searching really was very tiresome, and it came to me plenty of times in my life when I thought what was the point. I felt sad and deflated. I did not know what more to think, every thought was fruitless. Why do I exist? Why I am I here? What is my purpose?

I have thought hard to answer these questions. Many would argue of course the answer is religion. Faith. Believing in God and a larger Being and purpose than yourself. But the idea of organized religion never bode well in my mind. There was always a niggling feeling that something is wrong. I understand faith is essential, but when ideas so obviously contradict reason and fact, it is not acceptable. I shall not go into detailed discussion of this now as it would overshadow my main point.

That is when I read this book, everything clicked for me. Not that it answered all my questions, but I know now where to start looking for the answers. And that is philosophy. The questions I am asking now, had been asked by generations upon generation before now. And how ignorant I am not to know. I knew at a very general level, that there were the Greek thinkers, Enlightenment, Renaissance, Marxism etc, but it did not relate to me that this was anything to do with my question. And now I see, there have been trains of thoughts on these matters for thousands of years. And I now have tapped into the most beautiful thing in the world, the thoughts of the great thinkers of the ages.

I think philosophy has been a part of me before I even knew what it was. The same thoughts that occurred to thinkers like Plato and Aristotle, only came to me after long periods of deep thought and struggle with myself. So it is beyond my wildest imagination, that I have found for my self the fountain of knowledge. I am hopeful I can my find my answers. I now aspire to be a philosopher and satisfy this thirst that to this point I could not elucidate.

I think now this blog will very much turn into a discussion of philosophy. I have so much to say, so much to read, so much to write.