Kayaking, Running, Work, Writing....

Kayak = fun

Yesterday about 10+ of us went kayaking at Swan River, that was the first time I went kayaking. We went for an hour, and I kayaked doubles with Diana, she does that almost every week last year and starting to get into it again. It was freaking painful, because the kayak we had was kind of small and I could not put my legs straight. So every time I tried to paddle, it kept hitting my shins. So today I have bruised shins. Anyways, later when I compare kayaks when we pulled in, actually the kayaks are the same size. Only the seat in ours was smaller. What a stupid thing. But it really was very fun and a great workout. Shall maybe go once a month for this perhaps? It was really fun. We would probably all do singles next time and have a great big race, all of us lined up and racing all the way there and back, it is going to be awesome!!!

Today I did about 10.4 km in 1 hour 07 minutes. This is the first time I have ran properly this year of such a distance. My legs did hurt a bit when I started but then it went away in the 2nd 5 km so perhaps it is just nothing. That is for training for the Asics Furn Run in April, which is 10 km I think. I will try to improve my time. Me and several other will be running it, I hope to do it in a much better time, that would be great.

Have also just joined the Western Australia Marathon Club WAMC. They have lots of activities and about a run every fortnight, so I am really looking forward to joining and jogging more. I just love jogging, it is a wonderful feeling. And every time I think of running I would think, 'cue eye of the tiger'. I know that is and amazingly cheesy song, but it is a great song to get pumped up and go for a run.

A pair of Vibram Five Fingers

Couple of things I am looking to do, is to look into maybe getting Vibram shoes, not sure if those are good or not but I really am thinking getting one and testing it out. And I am also looking at getting Adidas MiCoach but it is quite pricey in Australia, $250 whereas the price in US is only $120 or something, which is simply ridiculous. So I am still considering what to do about this.

Need to permanently fix one of these to the top of my head

On a separate note, my research work has definitely moved forward quite a lot in the past week. Had a discussion with my supervisor on Friday on the way forward and we thought of some things to try to hopefully make things work, but it is never certain. That is the problem with computational research. With experimental even if good or bad, at least you get some results and can comment on those results. But with computational work, I need to at least get the thing to work before I am able to comment on anything at all. So it is indeed frustrating.

Also, every time I have solved a problem, another new and challenging problem seems to crop up. So a lot of the time I feel incompetent and once I am competent, a new incomptency creeps up. I guess that is just a measure of me as a person and the steepness of the problem I have at hand. I spoke to a colleague about the matter, and he we made a pretty good analogy, of a leaky bucket. That when you start your PhD, there is lots of holes in the bucket. But as you start to learn more and know more, you start plugging up all those holes and can retain things. Then at the end of the PhD, you pour out all the water in the bucket, i.e. the thesis write up. But what is ominous is my rate of plugging matches up with the actual time I have left and whether the water in the bucket is enough to quench the thirst of my review panel. Oh well, anything in life worth doing is always challenging. So, all I can do is work hard on this and hope it comes out alright.

is what one writes when experiencing empty-page paralysis

Also, I will start writing again. The AHWA competition is due in June I think and I will start writing now, writing several pieces of work so I can choose which one to submit in the end. I will not say more on this and just get on with the writing.

The Fourth Coming and Another Thing

This is my fourth semester as a postgrad at university and I am still tutoring as much as ever. I sort of promised myself to tutor less this semester, and I even did this by booking myself a holiday somewhere in the middle the semester to go on holiday! I thought that would sort of turn off tutor to look for other students to do the tutoring, but apparently not. It is so difficult to say no when people want to give you work, and for good money at that! I am kind of in need of money so, could not really say no....And that said another unit I am tutoring is thinking of giving more hours than I was expecting, how could I say no?!?? It is so nice to be appreciated for work. So here we go again, let's see if I have the same level of optimism at the end of semester.

But today was a good day, my research went well today. I think I cracked something that I was working for the past 2-3 months! If it really works then I would be really happy. I need to do more validations tomorrow but it seems to be working well. Hopefully it would be better sailing from here on out. I really want to go to another conference this year, one that is more applicable to my work. And more importantly I hope to get a journal paper published.

I think it's really tough to get a journal paper published in my area, very hard work to get such a code working properly and getting good results from it. But when things go well, this package I believe beats any commercial package out there. Other guys in my office are already publishing papers this year, and they started later than me. Well, they are doing experimental work, and I reckon that is somewhat easier than what I am doing. But still, a paper is a paper and they are so much the better for getting their PhDs. I am not really being competitive or anything. But I too really want to get my thing going faster and better.

Think my learning methodology now is working well, proof from my progress this week which has been quite amazing, even to me. Did not expect to crack this so soon, I expected to crack this perhaps in the following month. But this is great, I can get on with my work now. Hope things go well this year. Last year was horrible. Well, let's consider it growing pains, last year was my full-fledged academic year and it was quite tough. This year hopefully would be better. Such a great feeling to feel more competent of my work, it was really frustrating before.

And there's something else to talk about. I just found a great group. The Western Australian Marathon Runners Association. Did not know there was so many runs in WA! I could pretty much keep up my running throughout the year. And just found out there was a Rottnest marathon, very interested in doing that. But perhaps next year, maybe I will do the half marathon this year? I love running, perhaps one of these years I will try the Ayers Rock run as well. That sounds awesome. Also, I better start on my running regime again, need to train for the Asics Fun Run which is 10 km and that's in April. I want to get a good time, never done it before. But it seems good to do. Hope I can be free from illness and injury this year to do all these things.

Update

How many books do I read at one time? I have no idea anymore. I opened up another, and this is a classic.Wonderful. I actually just read bits from the Meditations, because it really is not a story. Just read anyhow you want to read it. I am also still halfway through some books by the Dalai Lama, The Telling by Ursula LeGuin and Hunger by Knut Hamsun. Well, that's the one I remember. There's probably some more. I should just stick to one and read more. And I have been drawing a whole lot these days, and not reading that much at all. So what's this. I really have no idea.

Stars

The stars in the night, is all I that is important. The vastness and sparsity tells me I am but a blip in the universe. My problems and worries meld away when I stare at stars. Stars are vessels for my worries and I send them into space. Stars make me happy. There is such peace when I look up at them. I feel insignificant and tiny, and that is not a bad thing. It puts me in my place and lets me know I am part of this universe, part of something great. That all the things up there is a part of me and I am a part of it. So I am happy that I can look at the stars every night.

I am focused now on this one thing, that the stars is all that is important. That the troubles of the past and the future are insignificant in the grand schemes of things. I worry of my PhD, of my career, of where I am going and what I will become. Am I not making the most of opportunities? But I let it all go now. I need to find simpler things to make me happy. And that which I focus on is the stars. It matters not whether I have a job or not. It matters not if my careers is going nowhere. If matters not if things aren't going well. The stars are immutable (technically they are, but we're not being literal here) and reminds me that my worries are tiny, like when you see a little boy whose ice cream has fallen to the ground and cries. A man will think, so what, we will just buy a new one. So too the stars look down on me and says my worries are whims and you shall not concern yourself with such trivialities. All that is important is being happy, or more importantly maintaining a sense of calm and serenity.

The worry often times outweighs the problem itself and the stars are a great way to measure against, what really matters. So I look at the stars, and I feel calm, that everything is as it is, and I should just enjoy the ride, be it bumpy or smooth, it is still exciting. And if I constantly look to the front and back, I will never look to where I actually am. So stars are all I need, they shine down and give me a message for calm, for peace.....


Unless an alien space ship shoots at all of the stars and everything goes kablooey, then we all die. Well, they would probably blow Earth up first so in any case I do not have to worry anymore. Oh well. In summary, starts are pretty.

Learning Methodology

Been doing lots of different new things lately and I just sort of figured out a way to learn. Well, it may seem obvious but anyways. I have been trying to make pizza for the past week, learning C++ as usual, writing, drawing etc. Really I feel I would go on a canter and just do whatever I think is right. But always things would not turn out so well. SO the best way now I feel would be to learn there is to learn on the subject and do what the master's of the crafts do and emulate best I can. There is a quote that says, one must learn the rules before one can learn to break them, or something to that effect. And I feel that good advice, if you do not know the limits how do you know if you have exceeded those limits.

So with regards to cooking, I do follow the instructions whenever I can and only improvise when I've learnt the basics. So too, drawing, I just realize my methods are quite monotonous and I have now borrowed a book from the library to learn different sketching techniques and the evolution of styles through the centuries. I also just learned that people actually sketched before they painted. Somehow I always had the idea, people just painted straight. Just goes to show how much I know on the subject. Ah, but I would love to learn more and that's exactly what I am doing.

With research, I get into the these spasms of crazy heroic effort martyrdom mentality, where I would say I would finish this whole book within a month. But just found this techniques is useless. Even if I do finish the whole book, at the ends of it I am so burned out I never actually open that book again for months and months, and what I learned I eventually forget. So what I do now, is read the book slowly and try to understand everything. Though I still have goals to finish the book, I try to go over the point over and over till it is ingrained in my mind. And now I feel the need to just keep always referring to it, until more stuff stick. Don't know what gave me the idea that I could read the once through and understand everything. I do not have photographic memory (how awesome would it be if I did!). So I need to take things slow and love all the knowledge that is in front of me. And with learning all this C++ I need to also critically relate and incorporate my new knowledge and find out how to understand and work my code. So the learning thing, is life long. Hopefully with this new technique I can be more effective and keep my motivation to work up for more times. No more gung ho kamikaze studying!

More Gym, Art and Research

 Did double Combat and Pump on Monday and that was pretty alright. First double for the new year, and getting back nearly to my pre Christmast weights. I think by next week I can get back to my regular weights, and hopefully from there get pushing up again. First time back doing Combat, my hits were really weightless, now at least a bit more. Also getting a bit more flexible, need to get into Balance again. Have not gone to an Attack or RPM yet, but will soon, and also add back my Sunday runs. But have promised to play soccer on Sunday afternoons, so not sure how that will work out. And maybe kayaking this or next Sunday? Mmmm, will see.

My favouritest drawing ever! Starry Night by Vincent van Gogh I shall paint my own one day. Well, try anyways...Getting into drawing more these days. Better start getting on with the next drawing before the deadline. Somehow having a deadline makes me want to procrastinate more. Plus I have gotten books on drawing techniques, and also a book on Van Gogh's art. It is amazing, I shall try to emulate I like his drawing and painting style. But I shall complete this one piece first then start experimenting more.

Talking about deadlines, I just realized my deadline for PhD completion is July 2012!!! I really need to cut back on the tutoring, and put more time into my research. Weird that I am at the halfway point and I now only seem to have an inkling of what I am supposed to do. Maybe I am a slow starter, or maybe that is how it is. Anyways, I will have to work doubly hard now. I want to think of study as now a thing I do as passion, I now shall attempt study any given moment and put in the same passion into it as my other hobbies. It is getting quite fun at times this work. It is frustrating too when things are difficult and don't go well, but I am being the chance to learn as much as I want now and I'm being paid to do it. So I don't know what more I could ask more. Should just count my lucky stars. And hopefully my hardwork at the end of the PhD would pay off, really hope to get a postdoc position and continue with more research. Hopefully also I could be involved with more practical applications of the research. Back to studying now. Though it is Chinese New Year's Eve, well I don't really celebrate anyways. Alrightey, doodie. Monkey bananas. The big oinkity oinks and blurb the blurb. What? Nothing. Really? Yes. No. Maybe. What. I don't know. STOP PROCRASTINATING, go study. Ok. Good. Bye. Ok. I said bye. Ok. Shit, go study. Ok, ok. I'll go to sleep. Good night...